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One day my mother, father and myself we sitting around doing absolutely nothing when my mother suggested we all hop into the car and go for a wonder around the shopping centre.

To describe my mother, she is very innocent, absolutely niave and believes everything you say, well, everything father and I say anyway.

So here we are, a family of three and we are walking around the shopping centre when my mother see’s a little person.  Now this was around the time that Flexi tellers were just introduced to the general public.

She turned to father and said, “Hey Gerry, look its a little person”? I wonder where they work.  You never ever see them at work, so where do they work?

Father looked at me and then said “Well Pearl, they work behind the Flexi tellers”.

She said, Really???

He said, yes, they sit in the back, they have a little table and chair, with a box of money and a plastic thumb and when you stand in front out on the street and push in the numbers for the amount of money you want, they are sitting in the back, on their little chair, at their little table, with their little plastic thumb and they count it out and then push it out to you at the other end.

He looked at me and I had to look away so she wouldn’t see me laughing under my breath, then I heard my mother say “Really?  I often wondered where they worked”.  Father then took it a step further and walked her round the back of the machine to show her the door, you know the one where the guys with guns fill the machine with money.

She believed every word of it.  We continued walking.  Then all of a sudden she said, Gerry, but what happens if you don’t have any money in your account.

He said, oh that’s easy, then instead of money coming out of the machine, you see these two little fingers come out and flip you the bird.

To her horror, she said oh my god, that’s just terrible, oh no Gerry, no, oh I don’t ever want to use one, that’s just rude, oh its terrible, how embarrassing, Oh Oh.

From that moment on, she only withdrew money out of her account whilst at a checkout in the supermarket.

My mothers worth bottling…………


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